The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part I

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part I

Since I’ve decided to rewatch The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya for the 1000th time, I thought I might as well blog about it. And since I have most of the DVDs now, I thought I’d increase my e-penis a bit by dazzling you guys with DVD-quality screenshots. Can you say, escapism? Good.

I’ll also be doing it in chronological order. Because, to be honest, I prefer it that way – the story flows much more smoothly compared to watching it in the original broadcast order (it was fun the first go around, though). Not to mention the fact that I can’t be assed to switch between DVDs while gathering up the screenshots in order to satisfy all your nonlinear needs.

Oh, and by the way, I’ve decided to let Kyon guest-blog for the day. Go wild.

The class introduction

The episode begins with Kyon ranting about how he never believed in Santa Claus, and how he had always doubted the existence of a jolly old man who only worked on Christmas right on the spot. He admits, however, that it took a while for him to realize that aliens, time travelers, and espers didn’t really exist because, maybe, he didn’t want to realize it. I mean, they sound much more exciting compared to our boring, normal lives, right? But… now that he’s entered high school, he decided long ago to put those childhood fantasies behind him and settle on the normal, school life in front of him, grounded into the laws of reality.

That is… until he met the strange, beautiful girl named Haruhi Suzumiya. With her classroom introduction of not wanting to have anything to do with ordinary humans, but instead, wanting to have aliens, time travelers, and espers meet her and have fun with her, he had no idea that at that moment, he would no longer be the ordinary high school boy he thought he was going to be.

Honestly, when Haruhi spouted that nonsense about not being interested in ordinary humans, my reaction was this. Some would say that she was already out-of-this world for using that crap as a class introduction… I would say she was just a crazy girl that happened to sit behind me during school, but that would be an understatement. If Haruhi were out-of-this-world, she would be what we call an alien, correct? In a twisted way, it would be nice if that were true, since, otherwise, being an alien herself, she wouldn’t have created… Well, I’ll share my comments when we get to that. I bet I’m boring you ranting on and on about how wierd Haruhi is, which you’d probably already know, right?

No, I'm not trying to hook up with her

Later, Kyon’s sparkling curiosity brings him to ask Haruhi if she was actually serious about the things she said in her introduction, like the part about aliens and stuff. In reply to this, Haruhi asks him if he’s an alien. Surprisingly to us, he’s unfortunately not. This reason alone is what Haruhi considers a “waste of time” (like the only things that are productive in this world are grabbing random bystanders and making them join a… I should stop). So much for that friendly conversation.

Kyon phails at talking to girls

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Shut up. Talking to Haruhi is like talking to a brick wall. She just won’t listen to you or even hear out your opinions unless you’re talking about something that actually interests her. And most of that stuff are things that only interests her… and other people that lack a little sanity.

Nah, you just phail at talking to girls.

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This is coming from a guy who’s spending his vacation playing video games, going on the internet, and watching anime – having no signs of female contact aside from his mother and his 2 year old sister.

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That’s what I thought.

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Taniguchi. That idiot.

Later on, Kyon finds out that some of his classmates have gone to school with Haruhi during Junior High. They had tried to talk to, and even befriend, Haruhi already. Unfortunately, they all failed due to Haruhi’s inability to socialize normally without emotionally scaring someone in some way. Taniguchi, a fellow classmate of Kyon’s, tells him that if he has the hots for Suzumiya (Hahahahahaha. Ha.), he’d better just stop right there (like he was even going somewhere!). Taniguchi says that Haruhi is what’s normally called a “weirdo“. The most notable incident that happened because of her “weirdness” was something that made it into the paper (which Kunikida had recalled reading) – painting a big, strange hieroglyph-looking picture on the schoolyard using a field line marker (seriously, Taniguchi, not a hard word… words to remember…). He, however, admits that Haruhi’s not too hard to look at (can’t argue with that…) and because of this: many guys have asked her out. She’s never turned down a guy, but never stayed with one either due to her disinterest in “ordinary humans”. One sap only lasted 5 minutes with her. Poor Taniguchi, his ego must’ve been pretty hurt.

It’s really annoying how people automatically assume that if a guy shows some interest in a girl, it just has to be romantic. Not all of us are psychologically driven by hormones, Taniguchi!

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Ryouko Asakura. Nice girl? I don't really think so anymore.

Taniguchi also notes, with his hormones filled with pride, that the only freshman girl worth going after is Ryouko Asakura. He had apparently ranked every freshman girl in the school since the school year started, and he gave Ms. Asakura a AA+ (I have to admit though, she seemed like a nice, pretty girl who showed SOME sense of leadership skills, unlike a certain SOMEBODY whom I won’t mention, at first… *shivers*).

Haruhi seemed sort of normal then, but as the days past, Kyon started to notice that she seemed to exhibit some strange traits that became more and more frequent.

I have to admit, I liked her long hair. Especially when it was tied in a ponytail

Exhibit #1 As the days go by, the number of ribbons on her hair would increase, resetting itself each time the week ends.

Exhibit #2 During PE, when everyone’s supposed to change, Haruhi would openly strip herself of all her clothing right in the middle of class, acting as if the males in the classroom were nothing but a bunch of mere potatoes to her. Naturally, there’d be some perverted boys in the class who would like to see that kind of action. Luckily, Ms. Asakura drove them all out of the classroom whenever Haruhi started to change. The males seemed to have built sort of a habit of leaving the classroom when Haruhi starts to change, or thus endure the wrath of Ryouko Asakura.

Exhibit #3 Haruhi would join all sorts of clubs, depending on her mood, but she would never stay put in any one of them. Since she has all sorts of athletic abilities, the sports clubs would kill to have her join, but she turned every single one of them down. What the hell does this girl really want?

On one random day, Wednesday to be precise, Kyon sarcastically asks Haruhi if her ever-changing hairstyle is some ritual to ward off alien invaders. Surprised, she asks him how long has he noticed this. “A while ago“. What’s this? Kyon actually invoked a conversation between Haruhi and himself, and Haruhi actually gives him a half-decent answer rather than telling him to buzz off?!

A day later, Kyon finds that Haruhi has trimmed her hair slightly and is now wearing a gold-colored ribbon. Cutting her hair after the day he made his comment… it’s a little rash, don’t you think?

I’d say Haruhi certainly has her hair going for her, complimenting her undying beau-

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. And I’d say you’re nuts. Seriously, did you just randomly pop in just to tell us that?

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… I have nothing more to say.

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Seriously, for the last time. I'm not trying to get onto her.

After that, Haruhi became a lot more open. Talking to Haruhi before class started had become some sort of a ritual for Kyon. When Kyon asks Haruhi a rather personal question, such as if the rumors about her dumping every guy she’s ever gone out with were true, Haruhi, with an annoyed expression, shrugs it off by saying that it’s probably true because every guy she’s gone out with were stupid – neither one of them was either an alien, time traveler, or had any cool powers. In reply, Kyon asks Haruhi if she would want to go out with an alien or something. Haruhi answers by saying that’s true, and as long the person isn’t a human she doesn’t care if it’s a boy or a girl (please, let’s just stop right there). Kyon wonders what’s so wrong about people being human. Haruhi’s last answer for the day is that if everyone was either an alien, time traveler, or an esper, life would be more interesting.

Now, I didn’t argue with Haruhi that life wouldn’t be more interesting if there were aliens. time travelers, sliders, and espers. But honestly, I’d rather be married to a beautiful girl that’s completely human rather than to have a gigantic alien orgy of some sort.

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Everyone's turning into idiots.

No doubt about it, I really wanted to punch Kunikida in the stomach for that remark about me liking weird girls, “the weirder, the better” (oh lord, how I seriously hate how that opinion of me got started).

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A moment of hope.

When it was time to change the seating arrangement, Kyon got the second-to-last seat in the back next to the window. Now, to him it would’ve been an awesome seat. However…

Haruhi, once again, got the seat right behind him. Coincidence?

No doubt about it, my fellow kind and loyal classmates rigged the seating arrangements in some sort of way in order for me to continue being their main source of communication with Haruhi. Seriously, the things I talk to her about are pretty random… Surely, you guys can do the same thing, right? Right?

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Haruhi, being melancholic. OH, SO THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THAT.

When Kyon asks Haruhi if there were any interesting clubs that she’s joined at school, Haruhi replies by saying “Absolutely none“. She comments that even thought there are almost a dozen school clubs, there isn’t even one strange and cool one out there.

Kyon tries to convince Haruhi that ordinary people are better off living out their ordinary lives in an ordinary environment, and says that the only people who escaped that were people who wanted to do something about their ideas. And the people who did that were people who invented things and changed the world. People invented airplanes because they wanted to fly. People invented cars because they wanted to travel from place to place.

After Kyon shared his opinion, Haruhi tells him to shut up.

Obviously, it didn’t work.

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Why do you all love to abuse me so?

Maybe it was that very conversation that sparked that very idea… Later in class, as Kyon was nearly falling asleep, Haruhi pulls his chair back causing his head to hit the front of her desks. Haruhi exclaims that she has an idea, she’s going to make a club. Kyon says that’s nice and all… but they’re in the middle of class.

Ugh, I thought I was going to die of head trauma.

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You had it lucky. Girls did the exact same thing all through my elementary school. It happened to me once. I wasn’t the same since.
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You’re telling me that was a natural occurrence during elementary school?! Of course, that would explain…
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You can shut the hell up now. ;/

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Really, Haruhi looks like a sex offender here.

After class, Haruhi grabbed Kyon and rushed down the hallway all the way to the rooftop entrance. Forcefully grabbing his tie, as if being bullied out of his lunch money, she tells him that he’ll be helping her start their new club (Ironic wording. Seeing as I didn’t have a say in the matter and I didn’t even know what the club was about, “their” isn’t really the correct word to use).

Oh, did I mention that my feet were magically off the ground when Haruhi pulled against my hand across the halls? I thought I was going to throw up, which I should have probably done. On Haruhi.

Sometimes I wish she’d put her athletic abilities to good use instead of using it to make our lives even harder…

Home sweet home. Not.

After reading the student handbook on the things required to start a club, Kyom is once again dragged all the way around the school by Haruhi, now being escorted to their “new” clubroom. Apparently, she’s “borrowing” the Literary Club’s room and treating the only member, the quiet and artifical-looking girl named Yuki Nagato who obviously loved to read, as an accessory that came with a room. Of course, she appeared to have no problem with Haruhi taking over the room.

My sincere condolences to the people who actually wanted to join the Literary Club some time in the future this year…
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Oh, I think I just came to heaven...

Haruhi seemed to have disappeared all through recess soon after she made an eccentric burst out of the classroom when the school bell rang. It appears that she was trailing the school, looking for new members. She happened to catch a junior dozing off in class and voluntarily arrested her (more like “kidnapped”). Her name was Mikuru Asahina, and she was  suprisingly beautiful, adorable, and very soothing to look at… (Ahhh…)

Oh, stop that. You're teasing me.

Haruhi told Kyon that the reason she picked Mikuru to join the club was because of her moé appeal (Basically, Haruhi thought she was cute, and well endowed. Now, I couldn’t argue with her there…), she was going to be the club’s mascot. Haruhi then continued to prove her point by groping Ms. Asahina’s breats.

Ms. Asahina’s face looked so alluring while her face was cowering in fear. Sorry, I couldn’t help but enjoy myself! However, being an actual, sane human being, I broke up the grope-fest before Haruhi got to her skirt.
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No one cares.

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I guess Haruhi's reads manga for escapism, then...?

As you can see, I can do parodies too! Haruhi is epic win.

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No one cares.

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I made /facepalm famous. Should I be proud of that?

After seeing Ms. Nagato, Ms. Asahina seemed to show a little intrigue. All of a sudden, she agreed to quit the Calligraphy Club and join Haruhi’s. Kyon explained what the club was about (which was the fact that he knew nothing about it). They haven’t even come up with a name yet!

Oh wait…

Haruhi cuts in and says she’s already thought up of a name.

May I have your attention. please? The name of the hereto for nameless start-up club has just been decided and it’s name is: THE SOS BRIGADE! “The Spreading Excitement All Over The World With Haruhi Suzumiya Brigade”. Please, you can all shoot us now…

At that moment, all hope was lost.

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At that moment, the “real” fun was about to begin.

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Next Episode

Ahhhhh... Bunny suit Ms. Asahina.

Watch it.

10 thoughts on “The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Part I”

  1. The post is so goddamn huge. And only one episode.

    I guess that recent forum thread inspired ya, huh?

    I’ll get around to replying to this later, fo’ sure.

  2. @HellKorn: Kyon is one hell of a rambler. Blame him, not me, HK. 😛

    Actually, I was just beginning to re-watch some of my Haruhi DVDs WHEN the forum thread was started. Of course, it wasn’t until then that I decided to blog it.

    … Of course, it took me long enough. Can’t have an anime blog without blogging Haruhi.

  3. Ah, nice coincidence, then.

    I’m actually replacing my LE DVDs with the REs (thanks to sales and eBay), just because I realize that broadcast order is essentially useless after the first viewing.

    Quick observations: What is that Engrish on the seat arrangement? I find it amusing that the biggest plot point in the story is dropped in the “first episode.”

    Also, shouldn’t you have started with episode 00?

    (Analysis later.)

  4. @HellKorn: Oh my, that slice of Engrish looks like it says “Who gets do”… Who get us do? Who get is do? Who gets down? OH LOL.

    I’m planning on doing episode 00 last, or maybe skip it entirely (I’m hoping to do the former). I want to avoid Mikuru’s annoying song for as long as I can (quite a shame that a textless version of THAT opening is part of the special features on the first DVD rather than the actual one… Oh well, if the fans want it, I suppose…).

  5. – Johnny out-Kyons Kyon at points.

    – “Unfortunately, they all failed due to Haruhi’s inability to socialize normally without emotionally scarring someone in some way.”

    Fixed.

    – “Kyon wonders what’s so wrong about people being human. Haruhi’s last answer for the day is that if everyone was either an alien, time traveler, or an esper, life would be more interesting.”

    Except the abnormal becoming commonplace would make the abnormal cease to be and become normal.

    A timeless truth, sure, but it’s something I thought about when driving today. I thought to myself if Columbus, Ohio would be more preferable with year-round snow, and realized that the snowfall is so beautiful because it’s a rarity.

    – Kyon instigates every single plot development in the series. God needs a muse, after all (or is it the other way around?).

  6. @HellKorn: – I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. 🙁
    – Eh, HK’s such a grammar natzee. D;
    – Kind of a bad choice of wording on my part, especially since the very point you brought up was brought up by Koizumi later in the series. Haruhi would eventually become bored if everyone was a supernatural being and would inevitably destroy that world too.
    – In Haruhi’s case, that would be correct. 😛

  7. – A good thing. I think. Probably.

    – Naw, because Haruhi would scar the guys for live. Taniguchi doesn’t even know how to approach girls anymore because of her.

    – On that note, Itsuki is my favorite of the supporting cast. He’s more forth-coming with his personality and information, which makes it easier for not only Kyon to complain converse with him, but also the audience to understand him.

    – She must’ve been bored for many years.

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