Dark Tales of Japan (J-Horror) 01 – The Spiderwoman

Also known as “Nihon Kowai no Yoru” in Japanese. This is the first installment in my reviews of this Japanese horror anthology, which contains five short J-Horror stories that aired on TBS on 2004 and was released on DVD by Geneon Japan. Naturally, my final thoughts on this J-Horror anthology will be written in the last post. I won’t be summarizing the whole movie, rather, I will be commenting on things along the way. Watch the movie yourself, you lazies! 😛 Now, let’s see if it actually scares me! :3 EDIT: I’ll continue this during fall, lawd. Halloween ftw.

The movie starts off with an intro showing a creepy old lady, with her creepy Japanese doll (memories of Fatal Frame are flowing through my head…), messing with a bus driver out on his nightshift with her scary Japanese bus stories. What an ass.

For that, I will call her Doll-bachan! Fittingly, she begins to tell us (the viewers) some horror stories too, basically setting up the anthology, I presume.

Forget the Headless Rider or the Man-dog. It’s Japan, the girl is in danger ALREADY.

Time for the first tale! It begins with some teenagers driving into the night, telling each other about a scary story they heard about meeting an old lady in the dead of night and then dying if you look at her, called the “Turbo-hag”. I was half-expecting it to be Doll-bachan from the movie’s intro, but the bus driver didn’t die – he pissed his pants.

They begin naming a few other unoriginal-sounding stories too. “Headless rider”? “Man-dog“? Seriously man, I thought us Asian people had awesome imaginations (“Man-dog” actually sounds kind of awesome though, now that I think about it a little more. It shouldn’t be scary, it should be a god.)!


…Naturally, they run into something even more ****ed up along the way. And naturally, in typical horror-movie-fashion, we don’t get to see what it is.

I soiled myself, but not because this movie is scary.

We cut to the main characters, a couple of journalists, interviewing some Japanese schoolgirls about creepy sightings of an unknown 8-legged, human-faced creature. Mhmm, delicious Japanese schoolgirls. Hands down, the best part of the first ten minutes (no pedo, I’m 16-going-on-17).

Oi, Shinji…

JAPANESE JOURNALIST: WILL WORK FOR FOOD. Strangely, that reminds me of Kamen Rider Ryuki, which turned out to be much more creepy and fills you with much more Paranoia Fuel compared to this unknown creature they call the “Spiderwoman”. Your friendly-neighborhood Spiderwoman.

And KR Ryuki only had 4 people working for their magazine company, go figure.

Don’t worry, the whole movie isn’t like this. Or is that a bad thing? I don’t know. Just replace a your usual realistic-looking Japanese onryou-chick, that scares you psychologically, with an unscary CGI spider that has a human face with eight eyes, and you have this movie.

Disgusting, but not scary.

Yeah, I’m cutting the commentary short. Because honestly, this tale was interesting, but it was absolutely boring to write about because nothing scary happens. It goes for a trite, cliche B-horror story I’d expect from American cinema. Basically, everything is predictable and the shock factor isn’t there. They try to find out who the Spiderlady really is, and the older dude meets a mentally-disturbed girl named Akemi living alone with her mother, who supposedly saw the Spiderwoman.  The younger of the two journalists is forced to look for the Spiderwoman, and then he gets ****ed. Then the older guy  goes to investigate about the Spiderwoman at Akemi’s house, and then he gets ****ed. One thing they actually tried to be unique with was the part when it revealed that the older journalist guy gets turned into a Spiderman (lol), and is turns out to be the thing that chases the teenagers at the beginning. I thought that was pretty interesting, and a pretty nice twist.

Stay tuned for the next tale, it might actually be scarier scary.

One thought on “Dark Tales of Japan (J-Horror) 01 – The Spiderwoman”

  1. I have to say that i watched that movie allready, and it is bad that all the Scenes where she wrap up her victims are cut out..they are not watchable in this movie, and it is of course low-budget-style, even like also Eight-legged-freaks. The Most of the Spider-horror-Movies, are really Bad, simple lowbudget, bad unrealistic effects. One of the BEST Spider Horrors is called “Arachnid”. This Movie contains near on his End, a good Scene where the Spider wraps up a Woman..but even here it is unrealistic again because the Spider sprays the Silk on her, and she cant get free because she struggles all the time, and at the End of the Scene it looke like wet wadding. and not like a tight Cocoon.

    The BEST Scene in this Genre that i EVER saw, was in Lord Of The Rings, when Frodo gets tied up by Shelob (The Giant Spider), THIS Scene is realistic and really Hot for everyone who loves Spider Horrors. Dark Tales Of Japan – The Spiderwoman, is not SO Bad, its exiting, but… this movie could be more realistic, and he could have more highquality Effects.

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