Category Archives: Satire

Cancerous Ship Girls Rant: The Expansion

I have been tainted. Now I will never marry.

Image Credit: 蒼天空 from Pixiv

…Illness when writing that mess aside, I don’t think it needed to be any clearer for comprehension.

I was going to do another Cardcaptor Sakura post or a Fate/stay night Unlimited Blade Works post, but in light of certain reactions to my previous Kantai Collection post from denizens of the anime community’s infamous cesspool (I say “the”, but in actuality, there are quite a few of them – pick your poison) repeatedly missing the point, I feel the need to clarify more than a few things for others who might also misunderstand the context.

(The real reason is mostly because cramming for midterms in college sucks, and I’m finding an excuse to procrastinate and letting out stress.)
Continue reading Cancerous Ship Girls Rant: The Expansion

Concerned moms against anime

CHINESE CARTOONS

The best satirical Facebook page ever

Japanese entertainment is fun to partake in and is a pretty fun hobby overall. And as you all know, I’m totally big on being passionate about your hobbies. I mean, damn, I wouldn’t have created this blog if I wasn’t. But remember, at the end of the day, hobbies are just hobbies. If you can’t take a moment to sit down and laugh at your own expense, and get extremely bothered by jokes, then it’s seriously time for you to dial back on how much you take your hobbies seriously.

This page is the perfect example of “all in good fun”: parody of an overly religious nut of a mother posting misinterpreted/stupid shit about anime and how evil it is. It’s simply hilarious.

Continue reading Concerned moms against anime

MIKOTO’S FANGASM METER BROKE, PLEASE FIX HIM OR DON’T

YES THERE IS A GOD

SHE LIVES, SHE LIVES!

BERSERKER Mikoto NISA, THANK YOU! YOU RESCUED MY PRECIOUS CARDCAPTOR SAKURA FROM THE VOID. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU FOREVER, MARRY ME.

I FORGIVE YOU FOR ANY BAD TRANSLATIONS YOU’VE DONE IN THE PAST. HELL, WHAT THE HAY? THEY DON’T EXIST ANYMORE. MY MONEY IS ALL YOURS, HONEY!

bsdhbjadb Holy crap, dat Blu-Ray. Dat box. Dat art book. Dat poster. There’s even a new English dub, which I don’t really give two shits about because only Sakura Tange can be Sakura you PLEBS, but damn are they putting some tender-loving care into this release. Tender-loving care that this series deserved long ago by western anime companies. Sure, Geneon put some commendable efforts into their subbed releases of the TV series and English dub of the second movie, but they still acknowledged the existence of that diarrhea stain Cardcraptors and didn’t go through the effort of redubbing the entire series like what Broppon Ichi is doing right now.

THANK YOU, BASED NISA GODS.

[long pause]

Mikoto I’m okay now. Back to being a rationale, level-headed member of society.

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BERSERKER MikotoUNTIL I BUY THAT PREMIUM BLU-RAY SET, THAT IS.

BLU-RAY MUDDAFUKKAASSSS

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Mikoto Update: In other news, I’ve been having a blast this quarter, guys. School is actually pretty fun now that I’m focusing on my major, and I’ve been playing Studio Ghibli/Level-5’s Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch for the PS3, which I’ll do a review on soon. I know I said I’d post final impressions about Kill la Kill (not gonna be a 100% positive one – just a warning), along with the newer season’s anime like No Game No Life, and rest assured that those will come. I’ve been watching a ton of anime as of late and will be making a bunch of posts these coming months. Also, Fanime 20014 is just around the corner, and I’m honestly pumped up for the most weeb month of my life.

Hoshizora no Memoria -Wish upon a Shooting Star- (visual novel) write-up will be up in the next day or two, so look forward to that.

The worst figurine of all time

KILL IT WITH FIRE

DAT FACE

Yeeeeeeeeah, the European Collector’s Edition of Bravely Default: Flying Fairy totally isn’t worth being jealous over. What was Square Enix thinking when they decided to bundle this monstrosity among the other goodies? Couldn’t they have gotten Figma? Or maybe even Alter? Square Enix, here’s some advice: what looks to be equivalent to a Chinese knock-off isn’t worth the extra expense. Poor European fans.

[SPOILER]If only they did Elise...

THIS is a figure (now if only I could find one of Elise, then all would be swell).[/SPOILER]

So yeah, in other news, I’m pretty hyped for Bravely Default: Flying Fairy coming out in America next month. I may or may not get it at launch depending on my finances. I still haven’t bought The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds yet, after all…

Fanime 2013 Overall Experience (and the horrors of Yaoi Bingo)

No, I didn't go to the maid cafe. T_T

No, we didn’t go to the maid cafe. T_T

Truth be told, I was looking forward to going to Anime Expo 2013 during the earlier parts of the year – going to Fanime again this year was somewhat of a last minute thing. We ended up not having enough funds to afford going to LA and spending our time at the convention as pre-registered members. Fanime’s always fun, so I didn’t mind much. However, it did sour the experience in another way. Since we couldn’t book a room at the Marriott, Hilton, or any other nearby hotels this year (by the time we decided to go to Fanime again, all the reservations were full), we had to book a room at a motel called the “Hotel Elan” (yes, they call themselves a hotel) which was somewhat of a distance away from the San Jose Convention Center. It wasn’t too bad of a place nor was it miles away, but it was still far enough (approximately one mile) that we had to walk over there and take the bus every morning. We never got to the con at the earliest possible time, and since the neighborhood was pretty damn dangerous, we never stayed out too late. From now on, we’re definitely making plans for Fanime every year except when we’re 100% sure we’re going to another con.

Continue reading Fanime 2013 Overall Experience (and the horrors of Yaoi Bingo)

Sword Art Online Chapter 16.5 – Two years worth of EXP flowed into Asuna *GLOP GLOP*

So yeah, yesterday’s post about Sword Art Online had me joking about the fact that Asuna was insinuating that they could have sex in SAO when she started stripping in front of Kirito. Because my common sense told me that it was obviously impossible to do so unless they wanted to teabag the whole night. Hours later, I found about that the author of the novels had a bonus chapter on his website…

Continue reading Sword Art Online Chapter 16.5 – Two years worth of EXP flowed into Asuna *GLOP GLOP*

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters 01 (Manga Comparison) – INJURED BY A CHILDREN’S CARD GAME LAWL

LOL, SHADOW OR A BIGASS EYEBROW?

So, after Toei’s anime was cancelled after adapting the first seven volumes like total spazzes, Konami and Nihon Ad Systems decided to make their own Yu-Gi-Oh! adaptation two years later. Only this adaptation was made to be a pure advertisement for their card game. This was their plan: skip the first seven volumes of the manga, remove everything unrelated to Duel Monsters before and after (or make them related), and go straight to the first story arc where Duel Monsters take center stage as the main game – Duelist Kingdom. King of “Games”, my ass.

Problem is, it doesn’t completely skip the first seven volumes, per se. They decided to mesh up elements from the early manga and re-imagine them in their Duel Monsters-centric anime (such as characters), creating one of the worst introduction sagas in an anime to ever hit television. Ever. To name one, Seto Kaiba, the #1 gamer in Japan and poster boy for Magic & Wizards (as the card game is called in the Japanese manga), had his whole arc rewritten as the first episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters.

Basically, the whole first episode is a “kitbash” of his two introduction chapters from the manga and the Death-T saga, a story revolving around his “amusement” park of deadly games – all designed to kill Yuugi and his friends in the name of vengeance. Needless to say, skipping seven volume’s worth of details and rewriting one volume’s worth of events into one anime episode will always result in one thing:

Total. BS.

Continue reading Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters 01 (Manga Comparison) – INJURED BY A CHILDREN’S CARD GAME LAWL

I affirm that Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt’s ending is nothing more than Gainax trolling

Stocking the trollette

Just look for it. You’ll never find it. You’re wasting your time.

In order words, Nichijou, Tottoko Hamtaro Gechu, X-MEN, and Yondemasuyo, Azazel-san are looking pretty good. Hamtaro, why you gotta be so friggin’ CUTE? I’ll be blogging some of them since I’m pretty much done with my senior stuff, and therefore have time to blog again.

Yuu☆gi☆Ou ZEXAL, however, can kiss my balls for further cashing in on one of my favorite shounen manga series. Hurray for 2011! I hope there’s some sad anime out this season, as I enjoyed rewatching Air and finishing up Clannad.